Unit 11 - Pag-Ibig (Love, Courtship & Marriage)

ENGLISH TRANSLATION

GEMMA:  Grandma, what are you doing for Valentine’s?

LOLA:  I’m going to the Mac Arthur Adult Day Health Care Center. The seniors are having a party.

Gemma:  ‘La, how did Lolo court you?

LOLA:  Oh, my poor departed husband. We belong to a different era.  Filipino custom, “no touch.” The man courts the woman for an extended length of time.  He tries to please the parents of the girl.  He first asks permission from the girl’s parents before visiing and courting their daughter.

GEMMA:  Grandma, is it true (respect particle) that sweethearts count years before they finally get married?  What’s this I hear that the man has to serve the girl’s family like he fetches water and splits wood?

LOLA:  That was during the time of my mother, in the barrio, they evaluate the character of the man, in the process of the long courtship they would know what kind of person he is.  They also dress formally when visiting the girl. In Manila, they wear a suit, in the province, they wear barong Tagalog. Women marry at a young age. My mother got married when she was only sixteen. But the women always have chaperones.  Sometimes a chaperon even sits between the lovers. So that sometimes, because the parents are very strict, the lovers elope. 

JULIUS: ‘La,did Lolo use to serenade you?

LOLA:  No, but he writes me all the time. You know at that time, lovers write to each other. 

JULIUS:  ‘La I met my girlfriend in the chat room. She said she likes me.  It’s simple.  We know each other’s likes and dislikes right away.  

LOLA:  Oh, it’s like the grain come to get the chicken. In those days, the women are modest and timid. Handkerchiefs and fans are important. My mother used to say that if the handkerchief gently rests on the brow, it means, you are in my mind. (literally ‘you are the contents of my mind.’or ‘I am thinking of you’.)

GEMMA:  That’s deep Lola. (respect form).

LOLA: It means I am thinking of you. If it’s lightly resting on the lips, then it means, I want to speak to you. 

GEMMA:  Wow Lola, that is too dramatic! 

LOLA: On the other hand, with the fan, if it is open and it covers the bossom, it means the woman is refined and modest. After the long courtship, the boy’s parents go to the house of the girl to ask for her hand in marriage. But nowadays,this is not the custom anymore because most of the time, the hand had been had. There’s nothing more to ask for.

GEMMA:  ‘La, was that the way Lolo wooed you?

LOLA:  No.  He charmed me with a love potion. No, joke only.  You’re Grandpa’s love was noble.  He loves his motherland and he died for that love, for me, for your father and for all of you.