Unit 11 - Pag-Ibig at Pakikipagkapwa (Love & Relationships)

INTRO:

Pag-ibig at Pakikipagkapwa
Love and Relationships

The word for love in Filipino is pag-ibig and the ‘beloved,’ the object of one’s affection is his or her mahal, irog, sinta, liyag, hirang. These nouns can be used as a verb (e.g. to love, to be loved) by using verbal affixes, for example, umiibig and iniibig, nagmamahal and minamahal, umiirog and iniirog, sumisinta and sinisinta, lumiliyag and liniliyag. These terms of endearment only apply to people, unlike in English where one can say “I love chocolates,” or “I love to go bungee-jumping and blue-colored plates.” Ibig and mahal can also be used to express love of country or the native land or mother land, Inang Pilipinas.

“Love makes the world go around.” Love is the driving force that binds man and woman from which comes the basic unit of society, the family. A strong nation is composed of strong family units; thus, the family and pakikipagkapwa-tao (regard for the other person’s humanity) are highly valued in Philippine culture. Marrying a person of good character, one who also knows how to relate to one’s fellowmen, and the traditional long courtship, though no longer practiced these days, are emphasized domains of Philippine culture.

Such high regard for love and marriage are echoed in proverbs like: “Pagkahaba-haba man daw ng prusisyon, sa simbahan din ang tuloy, (lit., though the procession is long, it still winds up in church) referring to a long courtship that eventually ends in marriage. Another proverb, that speaks to the bond between a man and a woman, likens the couple to a person eating a mouthful of steaming hot rice. One is committed to eating it even though it is hot. This is encapsulated in a Filipino proverb on marriage: Mag-asawa’y di biro,’di kaning mainit na isusubo, iluluwa kapag napaso” The prefix mag(ka)- in such words as magkasintahan, magkaibigan, magkapitbahay, magkababayan, magnobyo, and mag-asawa, denote a social reciprocal relationship. Terms used for marriage or union of two persons are pagpapakasal, (root word kasal; from the Spanish casarse) pag-iisang- dibdib, union of two bosoms, i.e., the seat of emotion and feelings, pagtataling puso, the knotting of hearts, and the verb, magmamahabang-dulang, lit., ‘will set a long table’ to accommodate the families of the bride and groom, and including the entire barrio.

The celebration of Valentine’s Day, although popularized in the Philippines through commercialism, globalization and the internet, is a Western tradition. It is not indigenous to Filipino culture. However, belief in the gayuma or anting-anting, a love charm or potion, is still prevalent in Filipino culture. These items are still accessible through local healers, shamans. Interestingly, they are also found for sale outside the catholic Quiapo Church located in the heart of the old city of Manila. (Tita Pambid)